My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
