GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
