just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
