I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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