i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
