I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
