Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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