You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
