In the future we'll all be gay
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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