i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think we might need a safe word for this...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize