Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
