Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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