My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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