You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
