Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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