Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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