Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
