Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
