I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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