I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
