i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
this is an emotional support booty call
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
