I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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