I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
