Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
