My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
