Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
