cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
