the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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