Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
