No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
