I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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