I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
