you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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