Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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