Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
