You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
