...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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