I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
