don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
