i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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