Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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