I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
