i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
it glows. i had to have it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
