My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
