Can i not drive my cunt home
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
