are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
