I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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