Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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