He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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