I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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