You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
